The Art of Living with Artists

There are those days when I wondered if I should’ve encouraged them to be doctors, lawyers, scientists, anything but artists.

“You know, Ya Ya always says, ‘That’s why you need to be a doctor papito. So you can take care of me,” my son said the other day. “She says it to all of us.” He’s referring to all of his cousins, her grandchildren.

My son and I were in the car outside a doctor’s office. “Yeah, doctors have it easy,” I said.

“What do you mean? It’s really hard to be a doctor,” he argued, which has become a regular routine lately.

“Yeah, no, I mean, they have to work hard, but they make so much money. You saw your cousin’s house. You know what I mean?”

He nodded but continued to talk about how difficult it is to be a doctor.

I reluctantly agreed and accepted my fate:
to add another artist to my household.

I think every parent feels conflicted about encouraging a child to take the artistic route. It’s more unpredictable in our eyes.

You’re so smart. Be a doctor, a dentist, an engineer, a scientist, a lawyer, they say. Many parents I know outright announce that artists make no money. You can draw, even paint, but don’t try to make it a career.

And, what’s most disconcerting is that many teachers announce that students can’t do anything with a degree in art, let alone make a living with one in the fine arts. So, parents waver and our kids waver, sometimes they even give up on the whole idea.

I didn’t tell my kids to be a doctor or lawyer. I taught them to explore their worlds. I actually encouraged my children to be as creative as possible, not as a hobby, but as a way of life.

And…it…has…been…a…very…wild…ride.

A once-white sink full of blue paint sits clogging one of our bathrooms. Drawings on walls are commonplace. Clothes splattered with paint seem expected.

But, when I want to hang a painting on the wall, I’m met with protests that it’s just not good enough or friends will think it’s stupid. You’re reminded of how fragile such creativity can be.

Yet, there’s a magic to living with artists that surpasses the often stressful or methodical worlds of academics or athletes.

Artists live on the brink of ecstacy or the edge of insanity more often than not, so when you live with them it can feel just like you’re in the swirling winds shot from a magic wand.

My daughter left for a pre college art program and, because I share her heart of an artist, I sit wondering what to do without her and hoping she has a good time while worrying that she’s so fragile she could break under her guise of strength.

Then I remember that guise is not a disguise at all.

It’s actually her reality.

She bears a resemblance to a Greek goddess in the midst of a tumultuous highway of mindsets bent on nearly crashing into her.

She stands, sword in hand, striking the sounds of doubt from her stance, sometimes, often, receiving their criticisms, wounded, in pain, dropping her sword, lowering her head, lying down.

She heals eventually and returns to her power.

The number of times she has stood her ground when she fought with me has increased over the years. The power with which she uses and doesn’t use words can set a room on fire. The intensity of her work puts shame to anything I’ve ever accomplished.

That’s magic mixed with a power so intrinsic to an artist.

And, we are all artists.

Accepting that makes our lives easier to manage and enjoy. Otherwise, we’re sent plugging away in drudgery at the daily confines of tasks to be finished and jobs to be done.

Those not just content but happy doctors, lawyers, and engineers are creatives in their own right.

They stand over patients and inspire them to fight for their lives and wellness.

They plunge into difficult cases emerging with solutions to difficult problems.

They sift through data and documents creating new ideas out of old structures.

Parents living with teenage artists find solace in their art.

Our artists are abstract and concrete all the while leaving us breathless with what they can conjure up for us, what they can pull from nothingness.

And you writers, well, you tell us the stories to keep us going when we find ourselves lost in worlds that have abandoned the idea of being artists.

So, as a parent of two artists, I watch in awe of their resolve, saddened by their wounds, hoping for their healing, and waiting for the next burst of magic, bound to love them through it all.